I really want this whole thing to end now, sincerely. We still do the same things but I feel everything I do is just a cheap, bad copy of something that's inevitably passed. I know I think too much, but really. I feel left here alone. This sounds bullshit, but really. I feel like my erasmus is over and I don't have anything to do here anymore. I party with the same people but I feel we just try to imitate something that isn't ours anymore, because something has changed.
I've never been able to handle the passing of time. I've always had problems with this, even without the erasmus-experience. From this point of view it was't a good idea to do this. It's just fortified my already-existed nostalgy syndrome.
All I can do is party and get drunk alway. It isn't a solution but it turns my deep thoughts mode off.
I didn't want to sound ridiculous and this thing is really not a huge mental problem or something, it just seems more serious by night when I'm alone. I think I should go and read my books now (I read The Arabian Nights and Dolores by Stephen King. I wanted to start In Search of Lost Time hoping it would help my shit but I don't have the book here.)
Sorry again for this long lament, I'm not drunk, summer nights make me think more.